Well, today is Mom and Dad's 58 wedding anniversary. 58 years. I can't believe it. That is an incredibly long time to be married. I miss seeing her with Dad on their anniversary. I know Dad misses her so much just like we do. And it is so hard to see him without her. It is like he is missing a limb or something. When people say they are missing a part of themselves, it is literally true. A part of your soul is gone when your wife/husband/mother/partner dies.
I remember when Mom and Dad were approaching their 50 wedding anniversary. Mom could not wait to celebrate. She was so excited to reach that milestone. We held a really fun party for her and Dad; complete with live music and food and friends. I know that they had a great time. It was such a great day. We were so happy for them. We laughed so much.
Last time, I wrote about a letter that I had written to Mom and Dad on their anniversary over 20 years ago. I reprinted the section that I wrote to Mom on my last post. This time I am going to reprint the section that I wrote to both of them in honor of a great set of parents who gave so much to their children over all else.
Mom & Dad: What a Team! You two keep each other young and keep each other going. Your a great symbol for all of your children. We have all married wonderful people and have really good relationships. You both have done all this for us. Thanks for all you've shown us. For you two are the core of this whole big beautiful family and we love you and need you still for added guidance. Who is it that we all call for unanswered questions no matter how small the questions; you always have a good answer. What an inspirational duo! We love you always!!!
Here's to you Mom and Dad!
It is especially difficult this year because right on the heels of their anniversary is Christmas. And boy did Mom love Christmas! She would start her shopping soon after Christmas the year before. No kidding. She loved shopping for her family. She also loved putting up her outside lights of Santa and the reindeer. She would put it on a timer so she could enjoy it from dusk til she went to bed. Norma just put up the outside decorations for Dad to look at. That was really great. I don't think I could have done it. It is still difficult for me to do some of the stuff that Mom would do. It is still too close to the bone.
Mom would also start her holiday baking. She made so many good, tasty treats. Mom had such a great time making things that her kids and friends would enjoy. This year, Patience made some great Gram goodies for Thanksgiving in her memory. And she did a great job, everything tasted so good. Gram is very proud of her I'm sure.
It is hard to go to the house and go on the porch where she kept all of the goodies she made and see the empty tins where she kept her treats. The were always full of rice crispie treats, fudge, magic bars, joe froggers, crescent cookies, sand tarts, gingerbread boys and girls, peanut clusters, almond joys candies, peanut butter balls, date balls, no bake cookies, and pies too. She made so much that she would make up plates for people and send them off to her grandkids and kids. She was a great cook.
She loved the holidays. She loved doing for other people. That's really what she was all about. She did all of this for her family cause she knew that we loved eating her delicious treats. She knew that we would all enjoy what she did; cooking for her family.
I would laugh too cause she loved fudge, but she loved rice crispie treats the best; and she would make a big batch and would eat about a quarter of them right off. And she would smile that "you caught me" smile. God I miss that smile. I miss seeing her at the kitchen table with her nightgown on and her leg swinging. She always would swing her right leg when she sat there. I miss seeing her chew her gum and playing her word circle games. I miss her fresh smell that she had right out of the shower every night with her hair slicked back. And the wood stove cranking. The kitchen was so warm and toasty all the time. I miss the simple things that are in no way simple, but comforting.
I remember telling Mom several years ago about this radio station, 92.9, that played all Christmas songs from Thanksgiving on. She immediately turned it there. She loved it and always had that station on for the month. I can still see her now, how she would bop her head side to side to the music when it was on the radio. Some of the Old Gene Audrey songs, Oh, God, how she loved them. I miss that so much. I can't listen to that station this year cause I just will start crying thinking about her and what we are all missing. It is so painful when you know how important something is for someone and they aren't here to enjoy it any more. It is painful!
It is still one day at a time. I still think of her all the time. All the time. I think of what she would be doing getting ready for the holidays. Thinking of how she would be getting everything set to send out or to bring gifts over to her family in the area. I think of how she would exude the energy of the holidays and how it made her so happy that they were here. I think of how she would just make people happy; feeling her energy. I know that we would feel that energy when we were with her. The holidays will not be the same without her; the energy will not be as strong nor the Christmas lights so bright.
Our shining star is not atop our tree this year.
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