Thanksgiving and simplicity

I had my first dream of my Mother last night.  It was brief, a few seconds.  But the weird part is that I don't remember seeing her only hearing her voice.  I woke up calm and unsure of what to think.  I am still at that point. 

I also went to a florist because I was looking to see what could be made up to put on Mom's grave for the winter season.  Unfortunately, not much.  However, I asked them if they could put together some greens with holly, and some other reds to make it seasonal.  I picked it up and it is lovely.  Mom would have loved it but hated that I spent money on her like that.  I had it at Mom and Dad's house for Thanksgiving.  It really was nice on the table. 

Thanksgiving was busy for me.  Which probably was a good thing.  I took the morning shift with Dad and began some cooking over there.  I cleaned the house and porch (where we were to have lunch) and set the table and did all kinds of stuff to keep me occupied.  Marcel Paul took over Mom's role of cooking the turkey.  Mom had one in her freezer and Marcel made that along with stuffing and gravy.  Everyone loved it.  Mom would have loved that we used her bird ..."use it up" she would say.  Don't want to waste anything in the Hurlburt household. Amanda made the mashed potatoes, a casserole, and some desserts.  Patience made several of Mom's special treats for everyone; peanut butter balls, rice crispy treats, and fudge (Mom loved fudge).  She really took on Gram's role of making some of her incredible goodies, and that was special.  And delicious too, Gram would have been proud!!  Other people brought things too.

Everything went as well as could be expected, there were 18 people there which was nice.  Lots of food and great to have family around.  I managed to make it until all the food was on the table and as I stood in front of the stove, I just stopped working and felt overcome with sadness.  It was obvious to me at that point that Mom was not there and that there is a gaping hole in the day.  I was able to walk away without being seen and have a little crying moment in the bathroom.  Enough to release some of the pain and go back out to the porch. 

After almost everyone had left, I took the arrangement down to the cemetery to put on her grave.  I stayed for about 20 minutes and really cried.  The arrangement looked very nice there and I have to say that she has the loveliest grave in the cemetery.  We make sure that hers is the most beautiful for a wonderful and loving Mom. 

I posted the other day that I was glad that Thanksgiving was over and that was all that I could say.  And it is true.  And I got to thinking about what it really means to be thankful.  Of course I am thankful for all I have in my life, that is a given.  But I thought about what I was thankful about when I think of Mom.  And this is what I came up with:

I am so thankful that I was born to Catherine Josephine Cormier Hurlburt.
I am thankful that Mom was young enough when she had me that she was able to be a very cool Mom in not only my eyes, but my friends as well.
I am thankful that she let me be me and supported everything that I chose to do. 
I am thankful that she taught me how NOT to take myself too serious and to laugh at myself when appropriate.
I am thankful that she showed me what compassion is and why it is important to be a compassionate person.
I am thankful that she practiced loving her children unconditionally and without judgement because we learned by her example to love our children that way too.
I am thankful that she did the same with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
I am thankful that she showed me why it is important to be a giving person with your time, money, and energy.
I am thankful that she taught her children what family is about and why it is important to keep the ties strong; we are able to put that lesson to use now.
I am thankful that she was with us for nearly 76 years of life.
I am thankful that I moved here nearly 7 years ago and was either able to spend every day visiting her or talking with her on the phone.
I am thankful that she showed us what strength is...because we all need to call upon that one often now.
I am thankful that she taught me that the simple things in life are often the most precious.
I am thankful and proud that she is my mother and I love her.

I recently remembered something that I had given to my Mom and Dad about 23-24 years ago when Russ and I were just married only a couple of years.  We were broke as a young couple and Mom and Dad's anniversary was coming up.  I was not sure what I could get them that was special AND what I could afford.  So I did the best thing that I could and I wrote something to them.  And here is an excerpt of it:

Happy Anniversary

Mom:  What energy you have.  Sometimes I get so tired just looking at you, never mind trying to keep up with you.  And you're such a fun person to be around, always so excited about new things, different holidays, and especially how very proud of your children you are, who in return I can say "WE" are so proud of you for being our mother, putting up with everything that kids do when they're growing up-but always standing by us throughout everything.   Keeping us on the straight and narrow.  You're such a beautiful lady too!  Those sparkling eyes (that I can say thank you for I have the same eyes), wonderful smile that could warm the heart of anyone, but most important, warms the heart of your children and your husband as well.  I love you for everything you've done for us and I'm sure everything you keep right on doing.

I found this letter that I had written to them in her box where all of her important papers are located; birth certificates, baptisms and wedding certificates.  I found a photocopy of it too.  That photocopy means to me that that simple act of writing these feelings down to her meant the world to her.  That it meant so much in fact that she wanted to have copies of it around.  And it gives me comfort to know that it meant that much to her. 

It's the simple things Debra, that's what I now say and practice.  It is time with family. The love we all feel for each other and our family.  And it is the ability to continue to enjoy being with each other.  These are the key elements.

Now isn't that simple! Thanks Mom for continuing to teach me. You are the best!!