Today I was mowing the lawn, and thought about Mom the whole time. Mom used to always offer to mow my lawn when I was away or working. She would drive her John Deere lawn tractor over to my house just to help out and be a great Mom. The last time she mowed my lawn was with Bonnie when Russ, Patience and I were on vacation in New Orleans. The two of them each on a tractor mowing my meadow. Bonnie had told Mom that she was going to mow my lawn, and Mom said "ok, I'll help" and off she came on her tractor. She loved to mow the lawn. She loved to work outside in her garden. She would often do things outside so she could avoid the inside work. She just loved the whole earth-connection thing.
I also remember when we first starting mowing some of the meadow that is at the beginning of our driveway. It was soon after we built our house in 2002. She came over with her JD tractor and just went straight into the high grass, she had no fear of rocks or outcroppings, she would go slow enough that if she hit something it wouldn't hurt anything. I was always so afraid that she would bend the blade or that a rock would go flying, but she was always so fearless. I loved that about her.
Sometimes when I feel afraid or unsure of myself, I try to think of how Mom would handle it and it actually helps to calm me down.
Mom always wore a yellow LIVESTRONG rubber bracelet; she believed it. When she passed, I put that bracelet on my wrist. I look at it often. I wear it because it makes me feel that I am touching the bracelet that she touched. Another connection. But I also know that this was her motto. And I am trying to use her belief to help me live strong.
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