The day after the funeral I was at the cemetery by myself to try to...I don't know what, cry, talk...I don't know. And I was thinking that I could hopefully get some type of sign of Mom. Any type of sign.
A Sign:
I remember when a really important person in my life had passed away about 10 years ago. She was a great mentor to me, a person who always made me feel so special. And I loved her very much.
One year, Russ, Patience, my Mom, my niece Erin, and I had taken a trip to California for a visit but to also see this wonderful person, Vicki. When we got there, we had found out that Vicki had just gone into the hospital and was very ill. We went to see her, but Mom was the only one allowed in Vicki's hospital room. Unfortunately, Vicki was so ill that it was her wish to go home to die.
We returned from California about a week later, And the first night back in my home, I had the most amazing dream of Vicki. It was short but beautiful and memorable; I still remember it quite vividly. Vicki had the most beautiful long grey hair which was always pinned up with lovely cameo hair clips or barretts. Well in my dream, Vicki was standing looking right at me and said "I am fine Debbie, don't worry about me", and I remember her hair was down and slightly being blown back. So the next morning I called Mom to say that I had this most amazing dream of Vicki that night, and that Vicki had told me that she was fine and that she looked so happy and peaceful to me. That is when my Mom told me that she had found out earlier that morning that Vicki had passed away the previous night. It was then that I realized that this didn't seem to be just any dream but something different, a message, a sign. I am not sure. But I am sure that it was meant to calm me, reassure me. And I have held on to that belief ever since.
So I was at the cemetery and I said to Mom, "Please Mom, I need a sign, and not just any sign, something significant, not just a bird or a butterfly, but it's gotta be big". About 5 minutes had passed, and I had begun to cry again as I looked at all the beautiful flowers that were on her grave, when I heard a car go by. I looked up and saw a 4-door white Ford Focus drive by the cemetery. You see, Mom's car is a 4-door, white Ford Focus. Maybe some would say it is a coincidence but you have to remember that this cemetery is in a rural area of our home town. So the odds of the exact same car, to go by that particular cemetery, is kinda remote. "That was a good one Mom, a REAL good one", was all I could say. And I kinda chuckled as I said it. I will hang onto this sign just like I hang onto the one that I got from Vicki.
I do hope that Mom and Vicki have found each other. And I do hope that Mom will continue to give me signs. We should all be open to the possibilities.
I love you Mom, you never did anything in a small way, that Ford Focus sign was one of the best I could have asked for.
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